Getting married is a big deal, that is why it is important to follow
this list of things to discuss before marriage. Covering these topics
will ensure that you and your future husband have an understanding of
what each of you want for the future. This list covers everything from
children to money to who’s doing the dishes Friday night.
1.
CHILDREN:It is natural to think about children as you are planning a
wedding. Marriage means starting a family, even if “Family” for you
doesn't include having kids. Before you get married you need to discuss
if you will have children, how many kids you want, will you adopt, and
when you will start growing your family if you are having children.
Don’t go into your marriage thinking that you can change each other’s
mind. It’s not fair to expect a man to father children he doesn’t want
or to deny him children. If this is the case you would both be happier
with someone else.
2. MONEY:Life cost money. There is no denying
that, which is why money is one thing to discuss before marriage. It’s
important that both of you have an understanding on how to handle money.
You also need to decide if you will keep separate bank accounts or join
together. You should also discuss who is going to pay the bills and how
much money you will save each month?
3. FAMILY:Have you met
his family yet? Do you like them? Now is the time to figure out how you
will handle your families and where you will lay boundaries. It’s insane
to enter a marriage and think that his parents or your parents aren’t
going to try to interfere at some point.
4. GOALS: Does he know
what your future goals are? Do you know his? If you are career minded
and plan to put all you have into work for the next 5 years so you can
get a certain promotion or make a certain amount of money he needs to
know this. You also need to know how his goals of quitting his current
job to become a wedding singer are going to affect your life.
5.
WHERE ARE YOU LIVING?:What’s the plan after you get married? Maybe you
already live together and that takes out some of need to discuss before
marriage, but you may still want to know how long do you plan to stay in
your current home or if you need to start saving up to buy a house in
the near future.
6. RELIGION:Believe it or not but religion is a
very important thing to discuss before marriage. Chances are if you guys
come from different religious backgrounds the topic has come up more
than once. Figure out before you get married how you will celebrate
religious holidays and handle any religious differences.
7.
SECRETS:Secrets are another thing to let go of. If you think there might
be a Unclad picture of you floating around out there from an
ex-boyfriend or a job you held that you aren’t so proud of, tell him.
It’s always best to come clean than to live worrying about it slipping
out. How horrible would it be for your husband to find out at a party
with all his friends that you use to dress as a clown at little kids’
birthday parties?
8. FAITHFULNESS :You would think that
taking a vow to love one another unconditionally would sum up each other
ideas on faithfulness, but that isn’t always the case. Some people
really do believe that if you are different area codes it’s okay to mess
around. Know for sure you are on the same page when it comes to
faithfulness before taking the walk down the aisle.
9.
VALUES:Everyone has their own set of values. While most values don’t
differ too much one thing to discuss before marriage is what values are
most important to each of you. Then you can decide what values you will
share as a family.
10. SHOWING LOVE:We all receive love
differently. Some people feel more loved when you give them a compliment
or constantly reassure them of your love. Others see love as action.
Find out what things you can do for each other to show you love one
another.
11. CHORES:Didn’t think chores were a thing to discuss
before marriage? Trust me it’s a talk you absolutely want to have. You
need to be clear on what your expectations are on keeping the house
clean. Decide who is responsible for what chores now, so everyone knows
who is at fault when the trash hasn’t been taken out and the toilet is
filthy.
12. BUDGET:It’s not enough to just discuss your finances.
You also need to work out a budget together. This budget should cover
all your bills, create a plan to pay off any debt, and save for the
future. A good budget will clearly state how much money is left over
each month to spend on personal items.
13. QUALITY TIME:Another
thing to consider discussing before marriage is how you will spend
quality time together. Don’t forget to plan date nights and special ways
to appreciate each other.
14. PARENTING:If you have decided to
have children you also need to discuss how you will parent. There are
many different parenting styles. Some parents are stricter while other
parents let things slide. There isn’t a right or wrong it’s just an
important thing to know before marriage
15. HOW TO FIGHT:Do you
know how to fight fair? Discuss before marriage how you can approach
problems without getting ugly. Also figure out what topics are hot
buttons that should be avoided in order to fight fair
16.
FORGIVENESS:How will you forgive each other after an argument? Do you
know what acts he considers unforgivable or may make it extremely hard
for him to forgive you wholeheartedly? Find out these sort of things
now.
17. TRUST:Can you trust each other? Are there certain things
that he doesn’t trust you with right now? How can you get that trust
back? Discuss before marriage any trust issues you have with each other.
18.JEALOUSY:Jealousy
can be a huge downfall in any relationship. If you are a jealous person
let him know that. Tell him the things that make you jealous and how he
can avoid those things are help you get through them.
As you can
see there are many things to discuss before marriage. Don’t let these
topics scar you off about getting married. It’s just important that you
and your future husband have a full understanding of one another. What
are some other important things to discuss before marriage?
SOURCE:http://abidemionline.com/relationship/things-to-discuss-with-him-before-marriage/
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